“Never give up!”
By my reckoning, it is among the best and the worst words of advice ever given.
Winston Churchill famously said them to a nation on its knees with the weight and fate of the free world on their beleaguered hearts and hands. His people took courage, rallied, finding new nations had joined the fight to literally save the world. It worked; they didn’t give up. It was just the right words from the right voice at just the right time.
In the twilight of his battle with cancer basketball coach Jim Valvano with those same words showed his grit, encouraged similarly afflicted folks to hold onto hope, and inspired the medical and philanthropic community to go after this disease with purposeful passion. He lost his personal battle days later, but the war on cancer is being forged today with more success, more tools, more resolve, and more hope than ever in part because of his impassioned plea.
Coach Vince Lombardi of Green Bay Packer lore famously said “Quitters never win. And winners never quit.” That motivational quip has been appropriated by many a parent, teacher, boss, coach, and drill sergeant. I’ve heard it and sometimes even believed it. Pretty sure you have too.
But what about the times when giving up is the absolute right, reasonable, unavoidable, and necessary thing to do? In his marvelously little book “The Dip” leadership guru Seth Godin says “Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right thing at the right time.” I would add “In the right way and for the right reason.” And I believe I have some biblical backing for this.
In the iconic third chapter of Ecclesiastes, Solomon tells us there is a time for everything under the sun. To be born and to die. Build up and tear down. Plant and reap. To speak and to be silent. Make war and peace. Mourn and dance. Scatter and gather. Weep and laugh. Keep and throw away. (Hoarders of the world, pay attention.)
You probably recognize those words in The Byrds’ famous hit “Turn, Turn, Turn” penned by the famous folkie Pete Seegar. Turns out – bad pun, I know – that in the sixth verse of the chapter, not the song, the Hebrew Scripture’s voice of wisdom says something that really sticks out. There really is a time to give up. Strong emphasis on “really is.” Even stronger emphasis on “Give up.”
But how do we know when it’s that time? What in life warrants such un-reckless abandonment? How do we know when something has outlived its usefulness or has remained beyond a growing season? What ways of thinking don’t ring as true as they once did? Proven no longer useful, or even true? What dreams, beliefs, expectations have we borrowed or inherited and no longer feel inclined to follow, accept, or fulfill? What burdens have been carried long enough - to our own detriment and other’s. What victories will only be only won by way of surrender? What unfounded opinions and images of others have we held onto, reinforced, and allowed to spread? What preferred realities cannot begin until older ones come to an end? Are there leaks in your emotional bucket that need patching? And dammed up life giving streams begging release so that container can be filled up?
These are all questions the unexamined life avoids. We passively keep floating wherever the water takes us. Inclined to play the hand given, often by someone else’s set of rules. To carry crosses that maybe weren’t ours to bear. Do what we’ve always done. Think what we’ve always thought. Get what we’ve always got.
Whether by failure of imagination or nerve, we often give in to never giving up. I know that’s counter intuitive, but it’s how life works. Or better put, how life does not work. At least not well. While old problems remain unsolved, old hurts go unhealed, our woundedness gets worse or spreads. Or both. Absent giving up, dreams remain unfulfilled and preferred possibilities unrealized.
At FBC, we have embarked on a series called “I Give Up; Nine Secrets for Successful Surrender.” For each of the weeks I will be writing a blog like this and attaching a song or two that seems to fit. At the end we will have constructed a “Pastor’s Playlist” on sweet surrender. Or maybe I should just call it a “Fellow Pilgrim’s Playlist,” because like most people, I have a hard time knowing what, when, why, and how to give up.
So, I invite you to come on this journey as we likely learn – and unlearn – some things together. We will pick out what is ripe for pulling loose and throwing down. And maybe realize that sometimes winners only win by refusing to refuse to quit. And how that means quitting the right things, in the right way, for the right reasons, at the right time.
By the way; do you know what time is it?
